I’ve been feeling really mad lately. Like angry. Nay, ragey. I feel the rage so strongly, and I think it would really be better for all involved if I just put a mask on so I couldn’t talk and no one would have to see my perpetual scowl, and put headphones on so I couldn’t blow up at any auditory annoyances.

Why am I raging so hard, my friends? Well, because of those pesky little critters called hormones. I turn into a monster. Seriously. Does anyone else have pre-period rage? It’s real and scary. I don’t like being a raging lunatic for no reason. No, I like to save my crazy episodes for truly valid causes. Such as, for example, with this shit that is going down in Iran, or when goofy politicians decide what rights women have over their own bodies (spoiler alert: none), or, you know, when there’s no coffee in the house.

But on my hormone raging days, if someone even talks to me to say something nice, it’s enough to unleash the beast. I will turn, give the most withering glare, and utter something such as “HOW DARE YOU DEIGN TO SPEAK TO ME YOU INSOLENT PEASANT!” Well, perhaps I don’t do that, but I want to. Instead I gnash my teeth, and am impatient, and generally just want to pull a biblical times and hide in a hut somewhere until the monthly misery is over. Anyone else? It sounds kind of nice. And quiet. And relaxing.

Rant over.